carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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