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yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
