apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
