did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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