Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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