is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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