At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
