That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
