No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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