I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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