You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
