Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
