And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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