your parents love me but you hate me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
