they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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