if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
where am i from again
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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