when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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