my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
