Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
