Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dignity is for republicans.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
