Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
