had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
