You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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