Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
