We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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