Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
