Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
