it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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