Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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