oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
