I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
