If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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