toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
