So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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