my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
