I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
