What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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