I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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