Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
now i know why i became what i already was.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
