Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
