perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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