Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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