This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
