She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
we're so committed to being not committed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
