How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
