i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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