I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
