There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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