I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
