Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
